Sex-Positive Swag
Austin, Texas - March 2018
Just across the way from the action of SXSW in 2018, we found the perfect sun kissed spot to draw a clitoris with Austin-based organization, Sex Positive Families.
As we packed up, a father sat nearby curiously watching the clitoris art while his 11 and 12-year-old children played around it. He later told us that he was just waiting for the moment one of his children asked what the drawing was, so he could then ask us because he admittedly had no idea.
“Is it a flower?” he asked.
We shared that is a clitoris and the reasons for our public display of it—awareness, shame-shaking and celebration. He then looked over at his children and said, “This is good. It’s about time for me to start talking to them about these things.”
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It was so special to have the opportunity to draw a magical clitoris with Melissa Pintor Carnagey, the founder of Sex Positive Families, her daughter and members from their community. Melissa is a Black and Latinx, Austin-based sexuality educator and licensed social worker who founded SPF on the belief that all children deserve holistic, comprehensive, and shame-free sexuality education so they can live informed, empowered, and safer lives. We are excited to share more about her organization and thoughts with the Clitorosity community.
What is Sex Positive Families?
"Sex Positive Families offers education and support to parents and caring adults that help make talks about sexual health easier with the children in their lives. SPF accomplishes this through interactive workshops, online resources and parent coaching."
How does the clitoris relate to your work? And why, through your lens, is it important for us to talk about and learn more about the clitoris?
"My work is not just sex-positive but pleasure-positive. I love helping parents learn about and embrace the fact that their children are sexual beings who may engage in self-pleasure, and that by supporting this normal part of child development (versus shaming it), they are supporting the sexual health, body positivity and safety of their child. The clitoris is central to this discussion of pleasure, and I teach parents of all gendered children how to have open, taboo-free discussions that raise awareness to this important part of the body. When children, especially clitoris-owning children, know the parts of their vulva, embrace its uniqueness and are aware of what feels good or nor, they have the tools and support to make informed, safer decisions about their bodies and sex."
What reflections do you have from drawing wit the Clitorosity community?
"I felt so grateful to be there with my then 18-year old daughter working together on a project that educates the public about the clitoris and pleasure. Seeing the reactions of so many families and passerby as they tried to make sense of what they were seeing, really reiterates how important this work is and how much more work there is to do in raising awareness about bodies, sexual health, and pleasure, especially the clitoris. A visual memory that I will never forget is how the sun illuminated the glitter of the chalk so beautifully; it's how the clitoris should be seen and understood."
